Staff/Marriage Ten Commandments

These commandments are giving to the members of Saddleback Church.  I believe moving forward married couples and businesses should follow these commandments. We will see more lasting marriages and a decrease in sexual assault, sexual harassment allegations.

STAFF/MARRIAGE TEN COMMANDMENTS

1.Thou shalt not go to lunch alone with the opposite sex. *

  • If i want to meet with a member of the opposite sex for a meeting, I meet with them for coffee or a tea at a very public place at peak hours such as a coffee-house. Most of my meetings are doing over the phone. I prefer to do Skype or zoom, a virtual meeting. This saves travel time and no one is put in a situation that could be found questionable.
  • Do not drink.

2. Thou shalt not have the opposite sex pick you up or drive you places when it is just the two of you.*

  • This is obvious. Clearly I would never get in a car with someone I barely know let alone a member of the opposite sex. I would never put myself in a situation that could turn harmful. Safety first is always my motto.

3.Thou shalt not kiss any member of the opposite sex or show affection that could be questioned.*

  • This can send the wrong signal. You may just simply want to give a big hug or gentle kiss on the check and though you are not responsible for another persons feelings, you could lead them to think you want more than you do. Also out of respect for your  marriage/relationship you should never get overly affectionate with another person. You should never put your hands on someone else in a sexual manner even if its meant to be a joke. For example, don’t sit on the lap of the opposite manner, don’t make sexual hand gestures, don’t spank/slap the butt of another person, don’t touch or pretend to touch private parts of another person.

4.Thou shalt not visit the opposite sex alone at home. *

  • Or HOTEL ROOM. This seems like common sense but believe it or not many business meetings take place in hotels and these meetings have led to the hotel room. If you are having a professional business meeting then the meeting should be treated as such. Especially for women, we need to speak up for ourselves and say NO I will not meet you at your hotel I will meet you at XYZ place. To be taken seriously in the business world we must first take ourself serious and show that we are in this for a professional business opportunity.

5. Thou shalt not counsel the opposite sex alone at the office, and thou shalt not counsel the opposite sex more than once without that person’s mate.  Refer them.

  • There is a reason why patients have engaged in an appropriate relationships with counselors/therapists/psychiatrists.  When discussing relationship problems we are at our most volunerable state and it is best to keep those discussions with someone of the same sex so that feelings can’t be misunderstood or taken advantage of.

6. Thou shalt not discuss detailed sexual problems with the opposite sex in counseling.  Refer them.

7. Thou shalt not discuss your marriage problems with an attendee of the opposite sex.

  • Always put on a united front, the devil is lurker and if he sees a opportunity he will strike.

8. Thou shalt be careful in answering emails, instant messages, chatrooms, cards or letters from the opposite sex.

  • The internet is forever! and nothing is sacred or hidden. What you might think is an innocent joke can be taken out of context. When answering messages, ask yourself three questions: 1) would I be comfortable if my significant other read this message? 2) would I be comfortable if my significant other sent this message? 3) would I be comfortable if the world saw this message?

9. Thou shalt make your co-worker/friend your protective ally.

  • Ask someone of the sameone to join you in these situations. Taking these kind of steps will only benefit you now and in the future.

10. Thou shalt pray for the integrity of others.

  • I am always praying for others and I ask for your prayers as well.

* The first four do not apply to unmarried adults.

Why should we follow these 10 Commandments?

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We’re aware of the schemes of Satan

I don’t want Satan to outwit us. After all, we are not ignorant about Satan’s scheming.

2 Cor. 2:11 (GW)

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None of us are above temptation

No test or temptation that comes your way is beyond the course of what others have had to face. All you need to remember is that God will never let you down; he’ll never let you be pushed past your limit; he’ll always be there to help you come through it. 1 Cor. 10:13 (MsgB)

Jesus understands every weakness of ours, because he was tempted in every way that we are. But he did not sin! Hebrews 4:15 (CEV)

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Avoid the appearance of evil

Abstain from all appearance of evil. 1 Thes. 5:22 (KJV)

Do not let anyone treat you as if you are unimportant because you are young. Instead, be an example to the believers with your words, your actions, your love, your faith, and your pure life. 1 Tim. 4:12 (NCV)

Treat the older women as mothers, and the girls as your sisters, thinking only pure thoughts about them. 1 Tim. 5:2 (Living)

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We need each other

I’m eager to encourage you in your faith, but I also want to be encouraged by yours. In this way, each of us will be a blessing to the other. Romans 1:12 (NLT)

So don’t criticize each other anymore. Try instead to live in such a way that you will never make your brother stumble by letting him see you doing something he thinks is wrong. Romans 14:13 (Living)

“If a believer does something wrong, go, confront him when the two of you are alone. If he listens to you, you have won back that believer. Matthew 18:15 (GW)

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